Da erlebt man am Donnerstagmorgen das Gewitter des Jahrzehnts, ich sah die Front wunderbar kommen von unserer Wohnung im vierten Stock, es wurde zappenduster, es blitzte, donnerte und stürmte wie die Sau, ein Blitz schlug vermutlich in die Habsburg ein (wegen des vermaledeiten Hochhauses sah ich es nicht genau, aber es krachte infernalisch), und als ich alles meinem Freund Tim, der in England lebt, erzählte, meinte der lakonisch, sie hätten einen Tornado gehabt, der es sogar in die nationalen Zeitungen geschafft habe.
Here’s a photo. There’s no report though and I didn’t see it myself, even though this photo was taken about a mile away from my house.
Wichtigtuer.
Last night, just before half time in the football, I thought I heard someone in my kitchen. It couldn’t be possible, as all my doors are locked early every night and it wasn’t the dog, because she was asleep in front of the fire. And she hadn’t moved.
I thought perhaps something had fallen into the sink, or a plate had slipped in the cupboard thanks to not being stacked properly, so I went to make sure. I found nothing. No sign of anybody in there, obviously, and no sign that any plate, cup, saucer or anything else had been disturbed.
As I turned to leave the kitchen, I noticed that the digital display on the microwave was not showing the time, as it should be. Instead, the message that reads PLEASE OPEN DOOR was scrolling across, in the same way it does when the timer has just finished. I walked across the room to open the door … my finger pressed the button and the door popped open to reveal …
Nothing.
I have no idea how or why that happened, but it was very strange. Almost as strange as seeing Ashley Cole celebrating a goal with Didier Drogba later that night. 
My neighbour dared to park this van outside my house yesterday afternoon. Thought you’d like to see it. The top bit is easy to read. Underneath are his phone numbers (it’s a work van!) and then just above the bottom line about the FA Cup, it says «and by the way» …
Weeks ago I had ants in the living room. Nippon (ant killer) seemed to work for a couple of days, then they’d come back, then a couple of days off again … so I found the hole in the skirting and filled it. No more ants.
We move on to last week … I’m sitting at the PC when I feel tickling on my legs and, guess what? ANTS. I killed them, but there weren’t too many, so I didn’t think much of it until Thursday, when I got up to find ants all over the desk, keyboard and monitor. I had to pull out my desk, take the PC to bits to move it all and try to find the hole where they’re getting in. Found it and filled it. Problem solved.
Oh no it isn’t!
This morning. I’m sitting in the living room, having a cup of tea, when I see a long line of ants, doing that Tom and Jerry thing towards the small bin I have in the living room. Dozens of them. The original hole has had the filler eaten away and they’re all heading for the banana peel in the bin. After a quick death squad operation, involving a hand-held vaccuum and splatting as many as I can, I’m lying on the floor filling the bloody hole again. Then I feel a sharp nip or ten on my arm and I’m under attack!
After filling the hole I go to deal with the bin. HUNDREDS of the things are in the bottom of the bin, under the liner. I dealt with those by filling the bin with hot water – revenge is mine. Teach you to go biting me! – and now I’m just waiting for their next move.
I hate to kill anything, but ants are the exception. I tried to be nice, by stopping with the Nippon and blocking the hole, and all it got me was more hassle.
I didn’t have to wait long for the next move …
Went for a bath this evening with everything ok. Came back downstairs, there was an ant on the curtain when I went to close them. Looked on the side near the fruitbowl, ants. Lifted the fruitbowl and more ants. Got a torch and found ants on the skirting behind the computer, which I’d pulled out previously. Pulled it all out again, pulled the carpet up, more ants. More filler into the skirting and, having long hair, I got loads in the hair as well. No such thing as scientific application when a finger will do!
I filled as many gappy looking areas as possible, sweated like hell and got so much filler in my hair I needed to wash it again, so I had another bath while I was at it.
Came down afterwards to find two ants on the newly filled area. Right. Half a can of fly killer later and I am ant free. Until the morning.
Council pest control can deal with these pests, and I don’t care if they use Kryptonite, as long as they eradicate the problem!
The dog seems to be settling in very well. She is not a barker, is well behaved and very well trained, so at the moment she is no trouble. She has sorted out the cats next door, that tend to hunt the birds that nest in a nearby tree and is taking her time to stake out her territory.
A possible name for her is Pin Mould, as she has that mottled appearance of bad bread. We shall see. 
Meet Spot. She is a Jack Russell and I took her in after my uncle died. Nobody really wanted her, so now she lives here with me. I will have to change that name though!
Our neighbours built a snowman yesterday. Unless that’s my reflection in our kitchen window.
